Walter gives a soft expression. He hadn't realized that his loved one being hurt was the greatest fear of all... It's a little bit of a comfort that he hasn't totally cracked, the way he fears he would if the two of them had their lives threatened in any normal way. Comfort enough that he should admit something: "Ms. Quigley's case... is a little more like Allan and Ken's. Or like Trevor and his two. Partners. I guess." He stumbles over that odd description even now, though partly because of coming up to the painful truth he's kept from Pyotr. At least it's casually including Trevor in the wardens who are influenced to a man. "There was someone else. Someone from her past. That person used her and manipulated everyone over and over again: when they were young, when we all saw each other as adults, when they were here on the barge. She still loves her and, well, that doesn't exactly matter to me if a relationship were all it was. Things are always going to be complicated now."
Should he just wish or ask for someone to remove his memories? The brainwashed docile Misty couldn't even accept the monster version. How would the reverse ever play out fairly? Friendship isn't so bad, especially when Misty has so few others to slather her affections on... Walter tries to keep his eyes on his goals, but they feel so far away at this point. The pain cuts into his voice here.
"Why?" (Why this? rather than a direct counter to anything.) "I really don't get why the person I care about is the one graduate who doesn't get to be happy. Ulla gave up on her homeland, she has a new home. Hilbert gave up on his experiments, he's back to normal with his team. Trevor gave up on fighting every monster he could get his hands on, he certainly has monster friends now..."
The monsters remind him of something, and he shakes his head. "I don't have much time. Malcolm saw the monster during the flood. He managed to get over it pretty quickly, I guess the werewolf powers helped, but that can't last forever. If I'm going to try to influence her deal, it needs to be soon. That's what matters to me, that's what's making me do this. If I'll be one of the tough cases who's stuck here for another year after that first murder, then fine. But Petya, what's the point of just living like this, getting hurt over and over? They can't ever compromise you with those bonds after enough breaches? Or bring in someone else who 'died' to force your hand?"
It's too serious a conversation for Walter to use the finger quotes that go with that American English inflection. They both doubt the premise of their deaths at this point, at least irreversible deaths. But there's another reason to emphasize that word. They both know there's a person who could change things.
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Should he just wish or ask for someone to remove his memories? The brainwashed docile Misty couldn't even accept the monster version. How would the reverse ever play out fairly? Friendship isn't so bad, especially when Misty has so few others to slather her affections on... Walter tries to keep his eyes on his goals, but they feel so far away at this point. The pain cuts into his voice here.
"Why?" (Why this? rather than a direct counter to anything.) "I really don't get why the person I care about is the one graduate who doesn't get to be happy. Ulla gave up on her homeland, she has a new home. Hilbert gave up on his experiments, he's back to normal with his team. Trevor gave up on fighting every monster he could get his hands on, he certainly has monster friends now..."
The monsters remind him of something, and he shakes his head. "I don't have much time. Malcolm saw the monster during the flood. He managed to get over it pretty quickly, I guess the werewolf powers helped, but that can't last forever. If I'm going to try to influence her deal, it needs to be soon. That's what matters to me, that's what's making me do this. If I'll be one of the tough cases who's stuck here for another year after that first murder, then fine. But Petya, what's the point of just living like this, getting hurt over and over? They can't ever compromise you with those bonds after enough breaches? Or bring in someone else who 'died' to force your hand?"
It's too serious a conversation for Walter to use the finger quotes that go with that American English inflection. They both doubt the premise of their deaths at this point, at least irreversible deaths. But there's another reason to emphasize that word. They both know there's a person who could change things.