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[Walter has recorded a video message from the point of view of someone who has just come through the door into his cabin and sees Walter at his desk in the chair turned around to face the viewer. He gives a little salute-wave.]

Didn't get me. But nice try.

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Walter lets out a nervous chuckle. "I don't know what exactly I'm supposed to say, man; you're clearly aware that certain things might sound pretty gay to me... though that's your business... but I'm trying to understand." He's turned in his chair attentively by now, no stray attention on the jigsaw puzzle. "So it's like how you care about him is different from the other relationships around here."

As opposed to, say, the extent of physical affection... There are some options of saying "we weren't gay" that Pyotr is very much not taking... oh goodness...

"Or is it really something else? Afterwards if things were a lot more peaceful, you might want some marriage that wasn't with him or anything?" Walter is trying so hard!! He is trying to speak the language and refer to traditional marriage rather than just box Pyotr into the idea of straight instead!!

"'I understand' would have sufficed." He draws a hand to his forehead, cringing. "Why do you keep telling me that it's 'my business' like I'm divulging something sordid?" His face feels hot, not out of shame over anything to do with Stavrogin, but because he is realizing now that he was right. Walter really does think he is some kind of disgusting pervert, like all these Barge people.

How dare he! His jaw clenches, and he shoots him an angry look.

"I see now this conversation was needed indeed, embarrassing as it is for the both of us. But no, Walter. Stavrogin isn't and never will be my husband. He's not my 'boyfriend.' We aren't and never were 'dating.'" He laughs cynically. "He was my friend. My comrade. An aristocrat with connections, who helped me get back into Russia so that we could start a revolution together. Lizaveta was his fiancee, and if things were different, yes, I too would like to marry a girl and live a normal life, believe it or not. I just never met the right one. I don't know many girls, and I'm not exactly popular with the ladies. Being a bloody pauper because my idiot of a father spent the inheritance left to me by my mother doesn't help."

He isn't ashamed of his relationship with Stavrogin, but Walter need not worry that he would share 'his business.' These things aren't talked about where he's from, at all, and this conversation has cemented that they shouldn't be.

"I admit, I hoped that Lucy might... but no." He sighs. "I've irritated her, and I suspect that freckled green girl is more her type anyway."

There's plenty of clearance in this thin dining room chair; Walter's legs swing awkwardly as he almost literally kicks himself. No!!!!! He was trying to sound convincing that it was totally different from a marriage! Ack...

"It just was starting to sound like you thought there was something to misunderstand." He puts up his hand. "But I get it now. No more misunderstanding." He's serious. Even if intimacy is less totally unspeakable when he was growing up, Walter is used to the idea that someone should be the last word on what's said about their relationships, at least.

He puts his hand down, slumping. "Maybe that's for the best that you two didn't go anywhere, the. Greenie creeps me the heck out."

"Nothing to misunderstand," he confirms with a nod.

It's the most natural lie to tell, even if he has mixed feelings about having to tell it. But it really is for the best, he reminds himself.

They can shift to the much easier conversation now of insulting Tendi. "Yes, I'm afraid I don't quite understand Miss Maclean's taste in women either. I wouldn't want to end up the third person of that ménage à trois. No, no thank you... Goodness, now I know a little about how you must have felt. Sorry, I didn't mean to speak so flippantly about sensitive matters..." And tilting his head, he looks at Walter with the most gentle, sensitive look he can manage:

"How are things going with Ms. Quigley, by the way...?"

He knows a barb when he feels one but he deserves it so okay then!!! "O-oh... Cheese and crackers, I never quite pictured that..." Walter looks up at the blank ceiling to clear his mind of images. Although in reality Misty had been "hooking up" with Sweeney and Natalie simultaneously and then become serious and exclusive with the latter, Walter has been able to think that it was some light serial monogamy. After all, that's what was presented to him, when Misty solemnly said that they couldn't be together not because of that but because she was taken.

"Well, we still hang out a lot, which is good. Better than I deserve in most moral frameworks, really." That's what Malcolm would call glib. "But even if she accepted things... Like the thing..." You know. The pie. (He usually says "let me in" but he is not providing any innuendo ammo right now!!) "I'm not sure it was ever an option for us to be together properly. Maybe in a crash scenario, the extenuating circumstances would arise, but." But for now, she's a warden who can come and go freely. She could be with Natalie, or anyone she wants. He purses his lips, shifting gears, voice a bit higher. "You know, there were cops everywhere when the stroke took me out. Considering that I had just killed one of them. I've wondered if... It would be for the best that they keep thinking that they saw me die for good."

Even the "real" Misty he remembers. If she actually went looking for him after that... That would be the dream.

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cw implied homophobia

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