forensicks | lastvoyages Inbox

I severely maimed Arthur Lester towards the end of our time on the Enposib, which for magical reasons was also directly harmful to John Doe. About two weeks into the Narrenschiff, Justine found me and explained she was going to stab me for blood about it. Malcolm called John, and his reaction was... interesting. With me so far?

Yes, I follow.

Do you prefer to have this discussion by text? It seemed like the least imposing way to reach out, but I don't wish you to feel

[There's a brief pause after the line break, as Jedao searches for the right words.]

in any way unworthy of my full effort and attention, if you've kept to text only as a matter of responding in kind.

I'm actually a text guy by nature! :-)

Then please, continue.

Justine did exactly what an inmate was supposed to do: intermittent harm that fosters an environment ripe for trauma bonding. You see, I committed my crime under the impression Arthur had been bullying my friend. It wasn't an appropriate response by any means, but the way I feel about the barge hasn't really changed. Where I come from, we would describe this form of group psychological abuse as a "cult". Though I imagine you've either never heard of it or already made up your mind on the matter.

I'm not from Earth, or anywhere connected to it, so the Admiral gave me English comprehension by direct download. Sometimes I have the idea of cultural concepts but nothing comparable in my own context.

I'm getting a mental image of a very insular heretic group with top-down emotional manipulation to maintain cohesion. Does that match?

[why does simulation theory keep winning]

Not only is this reasonably accurate (particularly because cultural concepts can of course vary over time), it's also a surprisingly insightful commentary on the Narrenschiff tragedy! Excellent really 🥳 👏

In that case, I disagree that the barge qualifies, since we don't have the enforced consensus to boil a cup of tea, and no one is making much attempt to establish it. But I do understand where you've found strong parallels.

And you regard your and Justine's behaviors as similar in that context, or no?

So everyone just got up individually and inflicted the worst damage that barge had seen in decades. Right. I would say it's true that Justine and I both did things you'd expect to happen when you deliberately house criminals together with just enough oversight to get one's guard let down. Justine really didn't hurt me that badly. I'm happy (or, well, somberly sincere) to admit that what I did was much worse. But I also think it's a little rich for John Doe to draw this distinction that she was trying to do something nice for him and isn't creepy and crazy like me. Quite simply, when he claims he didn't want her to do it, he's lying to me or he's lying to himself.

John Doe is not Justine's warden, for good reason. And also wasn't at the time, I believe?

You don't necessarily have to be someone's warden to have violent revenge fantasies and go out of your way to make them known to your friend.

What I'm hearing is that you're more upset by the idea that John might have set you up than you are at Justine's particular actions.

Am I reading you wrong?

[Separately:]

No, not wrong :)

I expected to get stabbed. I didn't expect to get it beamed into my mind that John is this "innocent" angel who didn't want to get me stabbed, then he very much seems to get me stabbed. Slashed really. I was prepared for worse.

Seems?

I am generously not actually saying "he set me up for a fact".

I don't think it's my place to explain or defend him. But I do believe, in the strongest possible terms, that regardless of John's feelings or intentions, Justine's choices and actions are her own.

Okay! So in extraterrestrial land (a term that literally means "not Earth") what precisely do they do with ladies who get just a little stabby?

Get promoted, generally. Our society was rotten to the core, and I don't have a cultural script that works for this.

I'm making it up as I go, and all I've got to go on is that you're the one she's wronged, and you're the one who deserves accountability for it. So I'm interested in what that might look like to you.

Sounds like your cultural script works *great* for the barge.

Alright.

If you think of something you'd like me to take into account later, let me know. I've already taken her knives away. I know wardens like Trevor will give her more, but I intend to be very annoying about finding any new ones.

Do you have an opinion on whether I discuss this with your warden?

funny how that works, huh? Like the barge is deliberately set up for intermittent stabbings? Which wardens will often admit are deliberately allowed as important parts of our journey to personal growth? They call it "training wheels", referring to a practice vehicle for little kids. You're at liberty to talk with Malcolm about this matter as much as you like. He's from a background very similar to mine, so he'll easily be able to confirm how completely unrelated to justice the barge is. With a little "that's okay because the barge is different" disclaimer at the end, of course. Do you actually want me to come up with a deranged barge accountability idea? I don't think it's right because, again, this whole setup masquerading as jail or therapy is completely insane, but what I *want* comes to mind for sure.

Yes, of course the barge is set up for intermittent stabbings. It's fantastically efficient for achieving graduations. I know most wardens are too idealistic to admit the full extent to which it's built into the system. If it's any consolation, most of them really don't know. Either because they have all the strategic sense of a badly poached egg, or because it's too emotionally painful to admit they couldn't fix it even if they did try. Or both, obviously.

I'm sure that's immensely frustrating to run into as an inmate. Sorry.

Justine almost certainly is going to continue to cause trouble, because my first job is to help her grow, and that precludes putting her in a box with a muzzle on and throwing away the key. But my second job is to make a damn good try at making it difficult for her, and my third job is dealing with the consequences when I fail.

What I want to know is what would matter to you. An apology? Better protections from her? Tit for tat? I can't promise to enact specifics sight unseen, but it would shape my focus.

See! I told Malcolm I really thought what I did would get me out of his hair by Christmas. (I mean he'd be done dealing with me in time for an important holiday where wishes come true.) You see, being subjected to John and Arthur's physical and emotional experience of being hurt by my actions was an idea Malcolm came up with because of my lack of remorse at the time. Justine's lack of remorse seems pretty similar, going off how he talked with her about it. However, I have reason to believe she'd be able to blink off a similar experience of my pain easily. If John is genuinely disappointed in her, then feeling *that* magical experience will get a reaction.

Yes, I do see why you'd think that. A tempting trap so many inmate overthinkers fall into. It's only the impulsive ones who get out lickety-split after realizing they hate the consequences of what they just did and they never even want to do it again. Anyone calculating enough to see the pattern is a little more inured against change. Observer effects, etc.

It has got you started on your path, I imagine, actually putting some of what you're capable of on the table. Pardon the pun. But if I were a gambling man I'd give you at least another year.

[Jedao is absolutely a gambling man.]

I wasn't told the details of your punishment, but you're quite right that she wouldn't be fazed by the physical pain of your experience. Unfortunately, I don't control John's reaction. I do think my disappointment will matter to her as well, albeit to a lesser degree. Would you say that what you want is a consequence that gets a reaction from her?

Yes, according to the trends my fantastic impulse control has gotten me selected for getting broken down into a second different type of evil person than I already am. We've established that incapacitating inmates is limited in scope, then. What could I want *more* than a reaction, that I could possibly get? Malcolm pointed out to me that my glib affect could get me a lot of time in prison even back in the United States, and that much I'll admit, but I do think two years for one murder is a bit odd in comparison to, say, six months for twenty. Thousand.

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